the adventures of finding the perfect dresser.

I phoned Bill on thursday morning. He'd posted about three dressers he had for sale. I'd been looking for a dresser; looking for one ever since my feet fell on denver soil. about 10 dressers had fit my narrow preference and each one had, also, gone beyond my gaining. so this finding-a-dresser deal and calling-the-seller deal were very anti-climatic. i kept my expectations low. at 11:30 i'd come by to have a look.

Bill was a classic: a plaid, flannel button-up, trucker hat sitting not-quite on his head and cocked to one side, massive hands that spoke of years of hard labor, a full, white beard and the distracted gaze of man whose lived a simple, satisfied life. he had stacked his garage tetris-style full of old furniture. mostly dressers and coffee tables with a few scattered end tables and chairs--all lovingly beat up and carefully repaired to whatever extent he could. dutifully, he pulled each piece aside to uncover the three I was there to see.

after one such pull i was suddenly staring at the beautiful blue face an old, beat-up dresser. something about it reminded me of my mother and my grandmother and was freckled with all sorts of small, curious stains. it was perfect!

i'd forever been conjuring up an image in my head of what kind of dresser i'd want, trying to figure out what exactly i was looking for as i scrolled page after page of Craig's List. which dresser was MY dresser? one i'd never get tired of seeing everyday and would house my clothes without complaint.

A black, sleek dresser always came to mind, preferable from IKEA with silver, sharply rectangular handles perfectly aligned on each of the four drawers. no chipped paint, no out-of-date features. modern! from a cute couple who were about to have a baby and didn't need it anymore. it was brand new! never been used! and only $15. and it was totally me and it was mine.

this perfect, black dresser evaporated from the little thought-bubble above my head as soon as i saw this little dresser sitting in the back corner of this cold garage. it was a few shades darker than a blue sky with rusted handles on all four of the drawers that did or did not fit back into their slot. the top had been sanded off revealing a strange and wonderful mix of reds and tans. wood stain had been spilled on the lip of one drawer making a shiny, dark brown, endearing blob.

i was noticeably giddy. i think i told a confused Bill five times that it was "perfect!"and "so perfect!"

so you can imagine my disappointment when Bill, bless his honest heart, told me someone else wanted it and he intended to keep it until that somebody came by to look at it. "really?" A huge grey cloud had situated itself right above me and had started to rain disappointing thoughts all over me. that somebody, Bill continued is coming by in one hour. If she didn't show, the dresser was up for grabs again. there was another blue dresser next to MY blue one but it wasn't the right shade, it was too long and every single handle was middle from it's front. so i decided to wait an hour. it was a very long hour. I ate lunch distractedly, talked to eric distractedly. I checked my email and watched tv with unengaged thoughts. at 12:20 i jumped out of the passenger seat, raced back up Bill's dusty drive way, yelling before I'd arrived at a normal talking distance "Is it still here?"

It was. she hadn't shown up! it was sitting right where I'd left it, just waiting.

It was perfect and it was mine.