maybe not overtly thankful. maybe just notes.

i have a little time before bed and a tiny smidge of energy left so i thought i'd blast out a blog post. here's what happening to this girl sitting in a bitty apartment on Grove Street somewhere between thinking life would be a dream and realizing it might turn out to be a tad more realistic.

*I have 2 more final projects to do. I'm terrified of final projects. I always will be. I thank God that he's only putting me through one more semester so I will no longer have final projects. It's not the "project" part that unnerves me it's the "final" part. Nothing should be labled final until Jesus comes back (or part 2 of movie of harry potter comes out in theatres, i guess)

*I've spent that past two days finishing up a book I designed for a class called "Senior Seminar". I truly spent all friday working on ONE friggin thing. 7:00 a.m. - 12:00 midnight. and yes, 2 hours this morning and another hour tonight. Tomorrow I will bind my book. (which is kinda exciting--red wiro binding w/ screen print design printed by Eric B. I know.)

* Right after I'm finished binding my book, I will start on my project that's due next monday. And then break somewhere in the middle of that to do a project that due Thursday.

*I will love when I am out of school for the summer. I am planning out beautiful, slow-motion, sunshine-glimmering outings in which I will do every summer thing I have denied this far: floating on a noodle in a pool, lying in the grass, eating some icecream sitting on a curb, long walks at night because it's cozily warm, camping (who am i becoming?!), getting even more freckles across my shoulders and nose because me and the sun are just so desperate for each other.

*I've been missing my family alot lately. I've been missing the belonging that comes with having siblings and parents around. It's a wonderful passive belonging. I miss just belonging without having to prove it in some way. It's relaxing to feel that way. I will be happy to feel that again someday.

*I'm talking my diaper family. Not my wonderful Eric. I'm talkig she-chased-me-with-a-skillet-and-i-broke-my-toe-hurdling-into-the-laundry-room-door kind of family. That's the stuff.

* I miss being flustered and so perplexed and then my daddy calming me with wisdom & understanding in a phrase or two. In our front yard. By that old barrell. Admist some gusts of river wind tangled with cigar smoke.

* I got excited about being an intern next semester. Now I'm wondering if life ever becomes fun again. (Or do we just go on getting excited about working?) So now I'm planning some sort of serious & wild water park extravaganza to reintroduce myself to the concept of "fun". girl done lost her good mind.

*the nail on my right pointer finger is coming off. There's a tiny pink nailbed coming up where the black and bloodied nail veteran is taking it's sweet time to jump off the other end. The little bit of new nail is so delicately beautiful and full of potential. It's been so long. And it's taking everything i got not to just tear it off. It's really just kinda sitting there held on by some caked blood and fingernail fibers (technical term, yes.)

*Eric got me a new toothbrush yesterday that's made entirely out of recycled yogurt cups. And you don't throw it away. You put it back into it's packaging and ship it back to the magic land where yogurt cups transform into every day objects. They say it's just earth-friendly or something i guess but i think it's marvelous brushing my teeth with a yogurt cup.

Ima go use it.
sweet night dreams.